Which is worse;
Becoming completely obsessed with a hot 19 year old guy whose girlfriend is touching down from UK in less than a week and wishing that by some miracle (even though I feel completely horrible thinking of it, I simply cannot help it!), he comes upon a sudden realisation that he is in luuuuuuuuuvve (or lust, whatever) with ME and dumps his girlfriend to confess his sweet, sweet adoration for me and sweeping me off my Havaianas;
OR
Intentionally being obsessed with a 19 year old guy in a steady relationship, knowing full well that he is faithfully (although I can't say for sure :|) awaiting his other half's return because deep, deep, deep down I know that outside the wild and erotic imaginations of my twisted mind, that there are absolutely NO plausible possibilities of ANYTHING happening with him. Therefore making it safe for me to harbour these quiet fantasies of him without having to bear the burden of a budding relationship just as I am about to leave the country.
....
I can't decide which is more depressing or desperate. Sigh.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
In The Dumpitty
I am amazed at the level of depression that I have sunken into after nearly 3 years of leading a single life.
Don't get me wrong though, I honestly enjoyed living the single life. I had nobody to answer to, I did whatever I wanted, whenever. And after an extremely emotionally exhausting 2 and a 1/2 years relationship, followed by an equally emotional 2 months relationship, I had enough. I decided to stay single until I find someone that was worth breaking my relationship strike.
It's been almost 3 years and still no luck.
Not that I was particularly on the lookout. In fact, I hardly thought about it at all. My theory was that once you stop looking and hoping for one, that's when they'll choose to magically appear. Like a random 10 dollar bill at the bottom of your purse. (I love it when that happens, don't you? Thank God for small miracles.)
Although, as my friends seem to always point out, I have this tendency to lean towards the Jerks. You know the type. Emotionally unstable with unswerving insecurities, unnaturally heightened sense of paranoia topped with a towering ego. Now isn't that just the ultimate combination?
I also have this thing where I like really quiet, reserved guys. Take my first boyfriend for example;
Our relationship lasted about 2 and a 1/2 years, and in that span of time, he's managed to blame me for every single fight that we've had. Oh, let's not forget to add Manipulating Tendencies to the combo, yes? That's a must have, that is.
When we broke up, he went on a frenzy and told all of our mutual friends that I cheated on him with a guy I met in college (Which was complete bullshit, really). Gathering sympathy while portraying me as the enemy and in that process, alienating me from them.
That was not a fun point of my life, I'll tell you that.
I shall not get into the grimy details of the history of that at the moment and save it for a future post. (Oh believe me, it'll be a long one.)
About 8 months later, I got together with a classmate of mine in college. Although I didn't realise it in the beginning, he was pretty much a carbon copy of my former boyfriend. Only he was a more mature and even more manipulative version(Didn't think that was possible). He had serious issues coming to terms with his emotions and was extremely reluctant in expressing them. He was also extremely jealous and refused to show it. And he had attachment issues. Man, was I in for a world of trouble.
After 2 months plus, he broke up with me. With the reason being he was leaving for Canada to further his studies.
2 years later, he's still bumming around.
Story of my life huh?
I have lost almost all hope for menkind. (That's menkind mind you, not mankind. There's a difference) The goods ones are all either gay or taken. (I guess that's why)
Always.
And you wonder why I'm depressed. Is there really any reason to ask the obvious?
I didn't think so.
Don't get me wrong though, I honestly enjoyed living the single life. I had nobody to answer to, I did whatever I wanted, whenever. And after an extremely emotionally exhausting 2 and a 1/2 years relationship, followed by an equally emotional 2 months relationship, I had enough. I decided to stay single until I find someone that was worth breaking my relationship strike.
It's been almost 3 years and still no luck.
Not that I was particularly on the lookout. In fact, I hardly thought about it at all. My theory was that once you stop looking and hoping for one, that's when they'll choose to magically appear. Like a random 10 dollar bill at the bottom of your purse. (I love it when that happens, don't you? Thank God for small miracles.)
Although, as my friends seem to always point out, I have this tendency to lean towards the Jerks. You know the type. Emotionally unstable with unswerving insecurities, unnaturally heightened sense of paranoia topped with a towering ego. Now isn't that just the ultimate combination?
I also have this thing where I like really quiet, reserved guys. Take my first boyfriend for example;
Our relationship lasted about 2 and a 1/2 years, and in that span of time, he's managed to blame me for every single fight that we've had. Oh, let's not forget to add Manipulating Tendencies to the combo, yes? That's a must have, that is.
When we broke up, he went on a frenzy and told all of our mutual friends that I cheated on him with a guy I met in college (Which was complete bullshit, really). Gathering sympathy while portraying me as the enemy and in that process, alienating me from them.
That was not a fun point of my life, I'll tell you that.
I shall not get into the grimy details of the history of that at the moment and save it for a future post. (Oh believe me, it'll be a long one.)
About 8 months later, I got together with a classmate of mine in college. Although I didn't realise it in the beginning, he was pretty much a carbon copy of my former boyfriend. Only he was a more mature and even more manipulative version(Didn't think that was possible). He had serious issues coming to terms with his emotions and was extremely reluctant in expressing them. He was also extremely jealous and refused to show it. And he had attachment issues. Man, was I in for a world of trouble.
After 2 months plus, he broke up with me. With the reason being he was leaving for Canada to further his studies.
2 years later, he's still bumming around.
Story of my life huh?
I have lost almost all hope for menkind. (That's menkind mind you, not mankind. There's a difference) The goods ones are all either gay or taken. (I guess that's why)
Always.
And you wonder why I'm depressed. Is there really any reason to ask the obvious?
I didn't think so.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Questionable Football Loyalties
I've been thinking about this for awhile now. I'm not very enthusiastic about football. Don't know the first thing about it other than it consists of a group of sweaty men chasing a ball over a very large field. I don't see how that would be so appealing but anyway.
So my understanding is that you choose a team to root and cheer for. And I'm sure there are some teams that you particularly despise. Okay. So there will definitely be a player in particular that you especially like, a favourite player. And I've also been told that players are bought and exchanged between teams from time to time.
So here's my question:
When your favourite player gets bought or exchanged to a different team, namely, the team that you especially detest, where does your loyalty lie? In the player, and therefore to the team that you used to hate, switching favourite teams as he switches his? Or do you stay loyal to the original team itself, and curse him for his treachery?
I wonder.
This question is open to anyone with any knowledge of football, however meager. Please do not hesitate to comment.
And anyway, I'm pretty curious what the answers will turn out to be :)
So my understanding is that you choose a team to root and cheer for. And I'm sure there are some teams that you particularly despise. Okay. So there will definitely be a player in particular that you especially like, a favourite player. And I've also been told that players are bought and exchanged between teams from time to time.
So here's my question:
When your favourite player gets bought or exchanged to a different team, namely, the team that you especially detest, where does your loyalty lie? In the player, and therefore to the team that you used to hate, switching favourite teams as he switches his? Or do you stay loyal to the original team itself, and curse him for his treachery?
I wonder.
This question is open to anyone with any knowledge of football, however meager. Please do not hesitate to comment.
And anyway, I'm pretty curious what the answers will turn out to be :)
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
My Handy, Trusty, Ol' Reliable, Emba-Rifle.
On another note, have you ever felt so stupid or embarrassed you feel the need to take the handy rifle you keep in your back pocket and shoot yourself in the head with it? In this case, until all that's left of your head is a bloody, dripping stump of brain, bones and skin pulp? This is only for extreme cases of course. And I gotta tell ya, this definitely qualifies as one of them.
I call it my Emba-Rifle. For obvious reasons.
I'm not an avid blogger. I only write stuff on my blog when the mood strikes me or when something exceptionally interesting happens. Which in itself is not very often. And anyway, I wasn't expecting anyone to actually bother reading my entries. They were purely for the intention of putting my thoughts down. And since penciling them down in a book seemed too much like a chore, I spilled my beans here. So imagine my surprise when I started getting emails saying people have been reading my blogs and were commenting on them!
Well, it was more of embarrassment than surprise really.
Since I discovered Vimeo, I've been a frequent visitor of the site. Only as an audience of course since I have no video-taking skills or sense whatsoever. I especially like to go on Jakob Lodwick's page and watch his videos. So, in addition to that, I sometimes go to Jakob's blog on Tumblr to read his entries. And then yesterday, I came across an entry of which he quoted on something a blogger said about Ricky. It seemed vaguely familiar to me until I realised he quoted it off of MY BLOG. It was something I wrote about Ricky. About his bloody hands. I was completely mortified.
Moments like these, are when the Emba-Rifle is exceptionally useful.
I mean I wrote that entry like last month and did not give it another thought after I posted it. It was embarrassing enough for me to realise people were reading it, but to have Jakob Lodwick read it and then quote it on his blog, that was beyond humiliating. I mean they're friends for crying out loud!
And trust me, I feel no pride or any other similar emotions just from having my blog quoted by Jake Lodwick. Only complete and utter embarrassment. Especially on that particular subject. Although I still love you Jake, for your odd ways and stupendous videos, how in the HELL did you find my blog??!
Somebody solve this mystery for me!
I call it my Emba-Rifle. For obvious reasons.
I'm not an avid blogger. I only write stuff on my blog when the mood strikes me or when something exceptionally interesting happens. Which in itself is not very often. And anyway, I wasn't expecting anyone to actually bother reading my entries. They were purely for the intention of putting my thoughts down. And since penciling them down in a book seemed too much like a chore, I spilled my beans here. So imagine my surprise when I started getting emails saying people have been reading my blogs and were commenting on them!
Well, it was more of embarrassment than surprise really.
Since I discovered Vimeo, I've been a frequent visitor of the site. Only as an audience of course since I have no video-taking skills or sense whatsoever. I especially like to go on Jakob Lodwick's page and watch his videos. So, in addition to that, I sometimes go to Jakob's blog on Tumblr to read his entries. And then yesterday, I came across an entry of which he quoted on something a blogger said about Ricky. It seemed vaguely familiar to me until I realised he quoted it off of MY BLOG. It was something I wrote about Ricky. About his bloody hands. I was completely mortified.
Moments like these, are when the Emba-Rifle is exceptionally useful.
I mean I wrote that entry like last month and did not give it another thought after I posted it. It was embarrassing enough for me to realise people were reading it, but to have Jakob Lodwick read it and then quote it on his blog, that was beyond humiliating. I mean they're friends for crying out loud!
And trust me, I feel no pride or any other similar emotions just from having my blog quoted by Jake Lodwick. Only complete and utter embarrassment. Especially on that particular subject. Although I still love you Jake, for your odd ways and stupendous videos, how in the HELL did you find my blog??!
Somebody solve this mystery for me!
Depressingly On A Caffeine High
I went to Starbucks today for a little caffeine booster as I was feeling a little down in the dumps. I was also having some trouble concentrating on my work. And so I thought, hey, I might as well try and do some studying while I'm enjoying my grande cappucino. And so I migrated from the cold depths of my college library towards the nearest Starbucks, which was about a 3 minute walk away.
However, after I've bought myself a cup of steaming coffee, instead of resuming with my work, I ended up reading the Chuck Palahniuk book I happened to be bringing along with me in case boredome strikes. I do this with all the books that I'm in the midst of. Currently, it's Chuck Palahniuk's "Rant". And there I sat for 3 straight hours reading and drinking coffee. I did get up once to buy myself some food from Mcdonalds, which was conveniently situated right next door. But that was it.
After all that, my mood had not improve. Except maybe now I'm on a caffeine high from that giant mug of coffee.
Depressed and excited at the same time. Never thought that was possible.
However, after I've bought myself a cup of steaming coffee, instead of resuming with my work, I ended up reading the Chuck Palahniuk book I happened to be bringing along with me in case boredome strikes. I do this with all the books that I'm in the midst of. Currently, it's Chuck Palahniuk's "Rant". And there I sat for 3 straight hours reading and drinking coffee. I did get up once to buy myself some food from Mcdonalds, which was conveniently situated right next door. But that was it.
After all that, my mood had not improve. Except maybe now I'm on a caffeine high from that giant mug of coffee.
Depressed and excited at the same time. Never thought that was possible.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Dan Piraro is a genius
This was in the cartoon section of todays Star paper. (which is the only section I read anyways :S )
Completely made my day, this one.
Completely made my day, this one.
Finally!! Ngahahahahahahahahaaa!
The reason for my psychotic overjoy-ness is that I've finally figured out how to embed and put stuff up on my blogpage! Woo! This is probably old news to seasoned users but it's gold to me baby! I was so ecstatic that I did a little victory jig after that :D
So anyway, here is the infamous video I've been raving on about! Hope you'll enjoy it as much as I obviously did :)
Travelling with Ricky (+Lip Dubbing) from Jakob Lodwick and Vimeo.
What did I tell ya? :D
p.s. : In light of my wonderful discovery, please do look forward to more videos and pictures! woohoo!
So anyway, here is the infamous video I've been raving on about! Hope you'll enjoy it as much as I obviously did :)
Travelling with Ricky (+Lip Dubbing) from Jakob Lodwick and Vimeo.
What did I tell ya? :D
p.s. : In light of my wonderful discovery, please do look forward to more videos and pictures! woohoo!
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